I was on the bus the other day, minding my own business, listening to my i pod not making eye contact with anyone and this kid who looks like he is on his way to a rave sits down beside me.
He had a bright blue puffy coat, hot pink pants and a jester hat on.
I made the mistake of looking up. fawk. He sticks his hand out with a dopey smile to shake my hand. I politely take out my ear buds and shake the guy's finger painted hand.
Rave kid: Hi pretty girl. my name is Eric.
Eric: I like Girls. wanna see my tattoos?
Me: No thanks.
Eric: lifts shirt, This one is my favorite! points to a tattoo on his chest of a woman with a floppy vagina.
Eric: check this one out. lifts pant leg to show another tattoo of a exposed woman dressed as harlequin.
Me: harlequin eh? nice.
Eric: Harle-whats? his mouth is wide open with toothpaste residue in the corners of his mouth.
Me: never mind.
Eric: want to see a picture of me?
Me: no. this is when I start to clue in that something is not right about this guy.
Eric: This is my bus pass picture! he dangles his buss pass in front of my face and all I can see is the city's yellow "special person" sticker.
Me: very nice. Great its before 10 o'clock and I'm being hit on by the retarded rave kid.
Eric: can I have your phone number?
Me: No. sorry, flattered but married. and cue fake phone call....NOW.
Eric: ok, I will give you my number.
The rest of the bus ride consisted of me trying to ignore him while talking on a fake phone call.I love public transportation. All the other women on the bus were looking at me with the 'better you than me face'.
"bus driver can we stop at the MTO I need a drivers License!"