Friday, August 15, 2008

belly update

Round? Check
stretch marks? Check!

Before I got all knocked up I was very proud that I could fit two large peanut M&ms in my belly button. Sadly now I can only fit one lonely peanut M&M.

I'm going to have to find a new place to store my candy....

Friday, August 8, 2008

I will watch kill bill until I calm down.

Dear Dylan,

At 5:00am I heard something downstairs, I asked you to go check it out. You did.
Thank you.
You came back upstairs said everything was fine. A couple of minutes later we heard the same noise. Shit it was the dog wanting out. We both rolled over and pretended not to hear it.

You wanted to wake up at 6:00 to go for a run. No problem.
The alarm went off at 6:00. I Kicked you a couple of times, you hit snooze on the alarm and rolled over.
Fine. You don't want to run at 6am I don't blame you.

The cell phone alarm went off at 6:18.I kicked you some more.
You rolled over and hit snooze again.

The cell phone alarm went off at 6:36.I punched you.
You rolled over and hit snooze again.

The cell phone alarm went off at 6:54.I punched you some more.
You rolled over and hit snooze again.

The cell phone alarm went off at 7:12. And I could have killed you while you were sleeping.
You rolled over and hit snooze again.

The cell phone alarm went off at 7:20. You kicked me in the rhythm of the alarm beeps to tell me it was 7:20 and that I should get out of bed. You rolled over and hit snooze again.

I got up got dressed and headed downstairs.

On my way to the toilet I found Wyatt's thick explosive diarrhea spread across the floor.
I closed the door to the bathroom and peed in peace.
I grabbed a small Forest of paper towels and a garbage bag. I stared to wipe up the horse size shit.

Upstairs, the cell phone alarm went off at 7:38. I can hear the alarm pounding in my head with every beep! Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep!


"GET UPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!" I screamed from under the pile of dog shit.

You couldn't hear me in bed with the oversized fan humming and alarm Beeping. Beeping. Beeping. Beeping.
I finish cleaning up the thick brown stuff and leave the chunky hard stuff for you.

I continued getting ready to leave (BEEP), make a sandwich (BEEP), brush my teeth (BEEP), find clean-ish socks ( BEEP).

I stomped over to the stairwell and pounded on the wall. "GETTT UPPPPPPP!! "

you must of heard the urgency in my voice. the alarm and fan shut off and I could hear you say something to the effect of " I'm coming, I'm coming , I'm coming..."

we mumbled around the house getting things ready and cleaning the hard chunks of crap Wyatt left for us. We stumbled into the car and headed to work.

I wanted to tell you this in the car but I didn't want you to have a bad day too:

If you ever pull this shit with your cell phone alarm again I will break it in two and bang one piece against your head until you get out of bed and the other piece I will force feed to Wyatt and then make you clean up the brown shitty cell phone mess he will shit out for you.

Aren't pregnancy hormones fun?
I hope you had a good day.
I love you.

Saturday, August 2, 2008

Daily Photo: Sleepy Wyatt

Wyatt has not done much more then sleep since we got back from vaco.
He spent nearly every day swimming at the cottage and now he is all depressed.poor guy.
and then we bring him for a car ride and he forgets why he was so sad.

Friday, August 1, 2008

Worst T-Shirt Ever

We had a great time in Ottawa. We ate a lot of great food, visited with family we haven't seen in years, fished in the wee hours of the a.m. and kayaked to our favorite places. It rained a lot so we took a side trip to Montreal.

I was born in Montreal and spent nearly every family holiday visiting the city. This time we were really just looking to do the tourist thing: go to old Montreal, eat, then go to the bio dome, eat, then go find some Montreal smoke meat, steamies and poutine.
We stopped at some little Italian place we all ate pasta expect for mom. she manged to wear most of her pasta on her tie die shirt. luckily old Montreal is full of little tourist shops that sell t shirts and other misalliance crap. In an attempt to occupy us while she caught up with old friends mom gave David (little brother) 40 bucks to go buy her a new shirt. I think the words she used were "make sure its a good one". so we ventured into the nearest shop, they had a wide selection of shirts ranging from "I'm with stupid" to "holy fucking shit".

We managed to sway David away from The HFS t shirt and settled on something a little less vulgar for our mother. We made sure that it was the worst t shirt ever.We made her put it on. he he he
Her Friends were impressed by the t-shirt(38 dollars worth) and How well the 4 of us could make a scene in a crowded restaurant by laughing hysterically at something that was only mildly funny. muhahahawe were on a tight time frame so we raced over to the bio dome.

My camera didn't really like the humidity in the dome so very few pictures actually turned out.This is Dylan and I under the water fall in the tropical rain forest section.

The Montreal side trip turned out to be a lot of fun. We ended up making another trip into the city of Ottawa. We wanted to go to Toys'R'us to see their baby stuff. Sudbury is not blessed enough to have the shrine dedicated to toys. we ended up picking up a really cute play pen and bed set.

Later that night we headed over to the parliament buildings to see the light show.

It was Pouring out, Aunt Louise apparently keeps cheap patio tablecloths in her trunk. they work very well as tarps. who knew. anyway during the light show there was an RCMP guy walking around taking pictures with people. we (I) had to have one! look at his cute little mustache!

It was poured for the rest of our vacation. The situation lent well to catching up with family and resting in the cottage. we couldn't of asked for a better time, Its been a long time since we have been able relax. With our little one on the way I suspect it will be awhile until we can do this again.Until next time.......

My house is a mess.

my house is disgusting.
plain and simple.
I hate it so much I'm going to clean it today.
I say this very often and never do it.
well today is the day, I will blare music, curse and scream and Clean. (with my buddy Mr. Clean)
right after I take a shower and eat something.
if I do not clean today I will chop off my baby toe(of my left foot) and feed it to Wyatt.
That statement should cure procrastination.
end transmission.

I Still have all of my toes and I feel a little less Disgusting.