Dear Dylan,
At 5:00am I heard something downstairs, I asked you to go check it out. You did.
Thank you.
You came back upstairs said everything was fine. A couple of minutes later we heard the same noise. Shit it was the dog wanting out. We both rolled over and pretended not to hear it.
You wanted to wake up at 6:00 to go for a run. No problem.
The alarm went off at 6:00. I Kicked you a couple of times, you hit snooze on the alarm and rolled over.
Fine. You don't want to run at 6am I don't blame you.
The cell phone alarm went off at 6:18.I kicked you some more.
You rolled over and hit snooze again.
The cell phone alarm went off at 6:36.I punched you.
You rolled over and hit snooze again.
The cell phone alarm went off at 6:54.I punched you some more.
You rolled over and hit snooze again.
The cell phone alarm went off at 7:12. And I could have killed you while you were sleeping.
You rolled over and hit snooze again.
The cell phone alarm went off at 7:20. You kicked me in the rhythm of the alarm beeps to tell me it was 7:20 and that I should get out of bed. You rolled over and hit snooze again.
I got up got dressed and headed downstairs.
On my way to the toilet I found Wyatt's thick explosive diarrhea spread across the floor.
"FUCK."
I closed the door to the bathroom and peed in peace.
I grabbed a small
Upstairs, the cell phone alarm went off at 7:38. I can hear the alarm pounding in my head with every beep! Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep!
Snap.
"GET UPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!" I screamed from under the pile of dog shit.
You couldn't hear me in bed with the oversized fan humming and alarm Beeping. Beeping. Beeping. Beeping.
I finish cleaning up the thick brown stuff and leave the chunky hard stuff for you.
I continued getting ready to leave (BEEP), make a sandwich (BEEP), brush my teeth (BEEP), find clean-ish socks ( BEEP).
I stomped over to the stairwell and pounded on the wall. "GETTT UPPPPPPP!! "
you must of heard the urgency in my voice. the alarm and fan shut off and I could hear you say something to the effect of " I'm coming, I'm coming , I'm coming..."
we mumbled around the house getting things ready and cleaning the hard chunks of crap Wyatt left for us. We stumbled into the car and headed to work.
I wanted to tell you this in the car but I didn't want you to have a bad day too:
If you ever pull this shit with your cell phone alarm again I will break it in two and bang one piece against your head until you get out of bed and the other piece I will force feed to Wyatt and then make you clean up the brown shitty cell phone mess he will shit out for you.
Aren't pregnancy hormones fun?
I hope you had a good day.
I love you.
~Carly
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