Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Friday, August 15, 2008

belly update

Round? Check
stretch marks? Check!

Before I got all knocked up I was very proud that I could fit two large peanut M&ms in my belly button. Sadly now I can only fit one lonely peanut M&M.

I'm going to have to find a new place to store my candy....

Friday, August 8, 2008

I will watch kill bill until I calm down.


Dear Dylan,

At 5:00am I heard something downstairs, I asked you to go check it out. You did.
Thank you.
You came back upstairs said everything was fine. A couple of minutes later we heard the same noise. Shit it was the dog wanting out. We both rolled over and pretended not to hear it.

You wanted to wake up at 6:00 to go for a run. No problem.
The alarm went off at 6:00. I Kicked you a couple of times, you hit snooze on the alarm and rolled over.
Fine. You don't want to run at 6am I don't blame you.

The cell phone alarm went off at 6:18.I kicked you some more.
You rolled over and hit snooze again.

The cell phone alarm went off at 6:36.I punched you.
You rolled over and hit snooze again.

The cell phone alarm went off at 6:54.I punched you some more.
You rolled over and hit snooze again.

The cell phone alarm went off at 7:12. And I could have killed you while you were sleeping.
You rolled over and hit snooze again.

The cell phone alarm went off at 7:20. You kicked me in the rhythm of the alarm beeps to tell me it was 7:20 and that I should get out of bed. You rolled over and hit snooze again.

I got up got dressed and headed downstairs.

On my way to the toilet I found Wyatt's thick explosive diarrhea spread across the floor.
"FUCK."
I closed the door to the bathroom and peed in peace.
I grabbed a small Forest of paper towels and a garbage bag. I stared to wipe up the horse size shit.

Upstairs, the cell phone alarm went off at 7:38. I can hear the alarm pounding in my head with every beep! Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep!

Snap.

"GET UPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!" I screamed from under the pile of dog shit.

You couldn't hear me in bed with the oversized fan humming and alarm Beeping. Beeping. Beeping. Beeping.
I finish cleaning up the thick brown stuff and leave the chunky hard stuff for you.

I continued getting ready to leave (BEEP), make a sandwich (BEEP), brush my teeth (BEEP), find clean-ish socks ( BEEP).

I stomped over to the stairwell and pounded on the wall. "GETTT UPPPPPPP!! "

you must of heard the urgency in my voice. the alarm and fan shut off and I could hear you say something to the effect of " I'm coming, I'm coming , I'm coming..."

we mumbled around the house getting things ready and cleaning the hard chunks of crap Wyatt left for us. We stumbled into the car and headed to work.

I wanted to tell you this in the car but I didn't want you to have a bad day too:

If you ever pull this shit with your cell phone alarm again I will break it in two and bang one piece against your head until you get out of bed and the other piece I will force feed to Wyatt and then make you clean up the brown shitty cell phone mess he will shit out for you.

Aren't pregnancy hormones fun?
I hope you had a good day.
I love you.
~Carly


Saturday, August 2, 2008

Daily Photo: Sleepy Wyatt

Wyatt has not done much more then sleep since we got back from vaco.
He spent nearly every day swimming at the cottage and now he is all depressed.poor guy.
and then we bring him for a car ride and he forgets why he was so sad.

Friday, August 1, 2008

Worst T-Shirt Ever

We had a great time in Ottawa. We ate a lot of great food, visited with family we haven't seen in years, fished in the wee hours of the a.m. and kayaked to our favorite places. It rained a lot so we took a side trip to Montreal.

I was born in Montreal and spent nearly every family holiday visiting the city. This time we were really just looking to do the tourist thing: go to old Montreal, eat, then go to the bio dome, eat, then go find some Montreal smoke meat, steamies and poutine.
We stopped at some little Italian place we all ate pasta expect for mom. she manged to wear most of her pasta on her tie die shirt. luckily old Montreal is full of little tourist shops that sell t shirts and other misalliance crap. In an attempt to occupy us while she caught up with old friends mom gave David (little brother) 40 bucks to go buy her a new shirt. I think the words she used were "make sure its a good one". so we ventured into the nearest shop, they had a wide selection of shirts ranging from "I'm with stupid" to "holy fucking shit".

We managed to sway David away from The HFS t shirt and settled on something a little less vulgar for our mother. We made sure that it was the worst t shirt ever.We made her put it on. he he he
Her Friends were impressed by the t-shirt(38 dollars worth) and How well the 4 of us could make a scene in a crowded restaurant by laughing hysterically at something that was only mildly funny. muhahahawe were on a tight time frame so we raced over to the bio dome.

My camera didn't really like the humidity in the dome so very few pictures actually turned out.This is Dylan and I under the water fall in the tropical rain forest section.

The Montreal side trip turned out to be a lot of fun. We ended up making another trip into the city of Ottawa. We wanted to go to Toys'R'us to see their baby stuff. Sudbury is not blessed enough to have the shrine dedicated to toys. we ended up picking up a really cute play pen and bed set.

Later that night we headed over to the parliament buildings to see the light show.


It was Pouring out, Aunt Louise apparently keeps cheap patio tablecloths in her trunk. they work very well as tarps. who knew. anyway during the light show there was an RCMP guy walking around taking pictures with people. we (I) had to have one! look at his cute little mustache!


It was poured for the rest of our vacation. The situation lent well to catching up with family and resting in the cottage. we couldn't of asked for a better time, Its been a long time since we have been able relax. With our little one on the way I suspect it will be awhile until we can do this again.Until next time.......

My house is a mess.

my house is disgusting.
plain and simple.
I hate it so much I'm going to clean it today.
I say this very often and never do it.
well today is the day, I will blare music, curse and scream and Clean. (with my buddy Mr. Clean)
right after I take a shower and eat something.
if I do not clean today I will chop off my baby toe(of my left foot) and feed it to Wyatt.
That statement should cure procrastination.
end transmission.

UPDATE:
I Still have all of my toes and I feel a little less Disgusting.

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

3 days and counting.

Friday will be a Carly day.

-I will wake up at an ungodly hour(7am) and go to work.
-I will complete the long list of things i must do before i will allow myself peace of mind on my vacation.
-At 11:30 I will drink copious amounts of water and waddle over to larch Street clinic.
-I will meet Dylan there to have our first ultra sound.
-With any luck we will find out if it is a boy or girl.
-I will hop on a bus and go see The Dark night ( batman) at 3:30.
-I will eat anything I want Popcorn, tcby, giant pretzel, pizza , or french fries with a giant size ice tea mixed with fruitopia (strawberry).
- I Might go see batman again with Dylan at 6:45 if it is as good as I'm hoping.
- then i will go home and pack for my blissful 10 day vacation.

That my lonely reader is a good day.
Gone fishing......

Thursday, June 5, 2008

puke.

I have a belly

a pretty big belly

I can sick my finger in my belly button and Giggle it around for awhile.

I have Stretch marks and they are only getting bigger.

some one is growing in my Big belly.

And they like won ton soup.

Friday, April 11, 2008

Vacation Time

holy shit I'm going on Vacation.
all that I can remember from my last real vacation was an endless supply of ice cream sandwiches and the feeling of fish intestine slipping through my fingers. yummy, can't freaking wait!

Thursday, April 3, 2008

Baby Boy

On March 20th Baby Jakob was born. What a litte cutie.


Friday, March 14, 2008

March Break

I Remember a time when March break used to be fun.
Now that I work with the general public for a living.......not so much.

Number of people coming through the doors=6,120
Number of hours worked this week=79
Number of piles puke cleaned in the last week= 4
Number of Tylenol extra strength swallowed per day= 3
Number of Daycares showing up(without reservations) per day= 2
Number of district managers "dropping by" =1
oh and can't forget!
Pile of human pooh cleaned off toilet seat=1

What self respecting man goes into the washroom pulls the toilet seat down and squats over top of the lid to lay a massive log? He couldn't of sat on top of the lid to do it, he would of smeared it all over himself. he literally had to do the "hover squat".

Why would he do this? He could not of been angry that there was no toilet paper because there was two full rolls of it. Maybe he didn't like the movie, fine chuck popcorn at the screen like every other over zealous movie goer. But no, in my 60th hour worked I was standing in the mens washroom with a massive black garbage bag on my hand picking up human feces telling myself that it is no different than Wyatt's pooh in the back yard.

Yeah, March Break has been great.

Sorry internet, for not posting as often I should. I've been occupied.

Tuesday, March 4, 2008

Daily Photo: Wyatt


He would not sit still for more than 2.2 seconds.

Thursday, February 21, 2008

Daily Photo: won't hold much longer

Wyatt is tied up to our door handle.
It won't hold on for much longer.

Saturday, February 16, 2008

Thursday, February 14, 2008

I Freaking Love My Teddy Grams


Dylan was almost an hour late picking me up from work today.
He made some lame excuses about some job running late at work .
Then I walk in the door and see this.
Happy valentines day everyone.

video

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Men like crazy not crazy men.

I was on the bus the other day, minding my own business, listening to my i pod not making eye contact with anyone and this kid who looks like he is on his way to a rave sits down beside me.
He had a bright blue puffy coat, hot pink pants and a jester hat on.

I made the mistake of looking up. fawk. He sticks his hand out with a dopey smile to shake my hand. I politely take out my ear buds and shake the guy's finger painted hand.

Rave kid: Hi pretty girl. my name is Eric.

Me: Carly.

Eric: I like Girls. wanna see my tattoos?

Me: No thanks.

Eric: lifts shirt, This one is my favorite! points to a tattoo on his chest of a woman with a floppy vagina.

Me: lovely.

Eric: check this one out. lifts pant leg to show another tattoo of a exposed woman dressed as harlequin.

Me: harlequin eh? nice.

Eric: Harle-whats? his mouth is wide open with toothpaste residue in the corners of his mouth.

Me: never mind.

Eric: want to see a picture of me?

Me: no. this is when I start to clue in that something is not right about this guy.

Eric: This is my bus pass picture! he dangles his buss pass in front of my face and all I can see is the city's yellow "special person" sticker.

Me: very nice. Great its before 10 o'clock and I'm being hit on by the retarded rave kid.

Eric: can I have your phone number?

Me: No. sorry, flattered but married. and cue fake phone call....NOW.

Eric: ok, I will give you my number.

Fawk!

The rest of the bus ride consisted of me trying to ignore him while talking on a fake phone call.I love public transportation. All the other women on the bus were looking at me with the 'better you than me face'.

"bus driver can we stop at the MTO I need a drivers License!"

My Next Tattoo

I want this tattoo so badly. Dylan says he would disown me if I got it done, and I say "YOU DON'T OWN ME BITCH!" : D


Monday, February 11, 2008

Our very fast trip to Ottawa

We rented a 2007 Toyota Yaris. Very cute, small, and cheap.

We made a pit Stop in CFB Petawawa. Could not help but stop and see the old house.
We lived in the side without the fire hydrant. A lot of fun in this house. I remember the summer we found out David's (little brother) window was on top of the front porch roof. we climbed out his window and on to the the very small roof, then wrap our legs around the pole and slide down the pole like firemen.

So after our little stop in pet. we continued our quest to the Ottawa game.

Freaking huge place this is. The Game was sold out.

It was a pretty cool game Ottawa won 6-1
Poor Montreal.

Monday, February 4, 2008

Wiener poopie My Gosh!

My Gosh! What a slow news day.


Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Daily Photo Our House

In July Dylan and I moved in to our first house. Its a great little starter home and a lot cheaper than renting.

Daily Photo Wyatt


It's looks like this that let him get away with everything.

The Good Ol' Hockey Game

I can't wait to see my first NHL game.


I won't be close enough to catch a dislodged tooth or anything but I'm still close enough to follow the puck. Click on the picture to take a closer look at Ottawa's red Sasquatch.
Thats 15minutes of fame down the drain.

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

You probably didn't know...............

That I just took a shower and spent the last 10 minutes writing dirty words in the mirror.

I read a lot of comics, but mostly batman comics.
I still wish that I could become a detective, live in a cave and have romantic encounters with catwoman.

I really like this one type of pen. the Zebra F-301 Ultra. they cost 4 dollars but I buy 3 at a time and lose them all within a month.

I do not like hair. If it were socially excepted I would be hairless...I might keep my eyebrows I've become attached to them.

I am very good at tying balloons, very good.

I've purchased little corduroy coasters that I absolutely will not use because they are too pretty.

I put my right shoe on first every time.
I take off my left sock first before I go to bed.

If Dylan asks me to hurry up I almost always fall over and hurt myself while rushing to get ready.

After watching "kill bill" or violent movies I get very violent, Dylan has given me the nick-name "punchy".

I have no sense of smell, I've convinced myself that I have "super powered hearing" because of that.

you can pull on my ears and poke me in the eyes but don't you dare touch my nose!

I do not have or want a drivers license.

I day dream a lot about worst case scenarios. so that if in the event a tree falls on my house in the middle of the night and impales me in the chest I will be prepared with a plan.

In high school I owned a yellow moped. I called her rubber ducky.

I haven't worn a dress or skirt since I was Six. I bought a Skirt 3 weeks ago and can't bring myself to look at it, maybe in the summer.

When I was 7 I wore casts on both my legs for 4 months. The 3rd month in I developed chicken pocks.



And now you know.

I Love Cheese.

So does Sarah Silverman. In fact she like cheese so much she'd fuck the cheese.



I love Laughing cow cheese. not enough to fuck the laughing cow but maybe enough to lick a little cow pussy.

Monday, January 21, 2008

Shrimp, Beer and Rock Band

video

Ronnie on drums, Scott on vocals, Amanda on bass, and Dylan on Guitar( rock slide). In the Same song Dylan face planted (a failed stage dive attempt) off the blue couch . Apparently there is something about Won't Get Fooled Again that sets every one off.


Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Cute baby hats

My Sister in Law is About 6 and a half months prego. I found these cute little hats for the little person to be on etsy.

Monday, January 14, 2008

Daily Photo Mario Bros

For Dylan's Christmas stocking I picked up some cute Mario bros toys.
I found them at the Silver Snail in Toronto on Queen st.

Cute eh?

Daily Photo: Horse Back....Not Brokeback

We went horse back riding on Sunday.
It was freaking cold out. And the horses shit whenever they wanted. they shat while they were walking! I think that is a neat concept. how come a horse can shit while walking and we cannot.
I bet I could. Anyways the Trees were very pretty in the snow blah blah blah.
Did I mention that Dylan is terrified of horses?

Saturday, January 12, 2008

What do you mean I can't have coffee?

My Freaking dog Wyatt.... I found a whole can of coffee in his kennel.
He got all wound up and acted like a big jerk the rest of the day.
We will have to ween him off carefully to avoid doggy caffeine withdrawals.

Friday, January 11, 2008

New Years Eve

For New Years Eve a bunch of friends from work got together for extreme sliding. After bruised bodies and cracked ribs it was decided that we are blowing next year.
Dylan and I after our first Run of the year.